You were so unexpected. When you came into my life it was not what I had planned at all. You were such a huge surprise. Your father and I was undergoing some problems and truth is at that point I had decided that I did not want any more children and I was ok with just having one child your sister. I remember when I found out I was pregnant it was just a wave of emotions. I was so confused as to how I felt about my pregnancy. During the time I found out I was pregnant I was working so hard to reach my fitness goals. I remember it was during the middle of my exercise program. I was working out and I remember for the past week I would just start feeling extremely nauseous during my workout and could never complete my exercise. Then one morning in the middle of my exercise I decided maybe I should take a pregnant test and I saw that positive and went into shock. It was the least thing I was expecting to see. I could not believe it. I was pregnant. It was alot to take in at the time but I took it in and fell in love with you. I knew from the start that you were going to be a boy. There was no doubt in me that told me other wise. I found out at 14 weeks that indeed you were a boy and I was thrilled to have a pair. You were my blessing in despise. They say the Lord blesses you with what you need at the right time and you were a blessing. For a long time I thought it would just be serena and I and then there were you and you completed us. We love you beyond words can express. Could not imagine life without you.
For nine months I felt you growing inside me and fell in love with you. I was so excited to see you and to hold you. But I was more excited for serena to have a little brother and to fall in love with you. For the entire 9 months I just kept thinking how much she is going to love you. She was only two when I was pregnant with you so I do not think she understood fully what was happening. I told her everyday she was going to be a big sister and have a little brother but I was so excited for you to be brought into this world so she can love on you and understand finally what I was saying. She fell in love with you just like I did. She was carrying you the day I brought you home which was scary by the way. I had to constantly keep and eye on her because she refused to live you alone. She still refusues to live you alone. I believe that is why you started crawling at 5 months to run away from her. She loves you so much and she is happy to have that company in her life.
But bud, I just want to let you know how much of a blessing you are to us. we would not have it any other way.
I am so blessed you chose me to be your mom regardless of the struggles you knew we would be facing in this life. But those struggles will form us to be great individuals in our life. Together we all will be great.
I love you Kaison .
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