She made me realize how precious life is.

A dear friend of mine Christiana tinkorang lost her 15 month old son in a freak accident. I'm not exactly sure what the accident was because she chose not to share it with me and I respect that. But from the day I found out about her little boys passing, it has since then opened my eyes to the reality that I too could lose one of my own children someday got forbid. I keep thinking that,the Sunday night when she placed both her boys to bed she had no idea that the Monday she would lose one of them and that she would only be putting one to bed that Monday night. I think I've taken for granted how precious life is and that any day we could live this earth. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us. This entire week I've stared at kaison and felt her pain. I mourned with her and I felt a little bit of her pain. When I looked at kaison I saw her 15 month old son and I tried to imagine her pain but I will never know her pain because I have not lost a child. I felt the need to hold my children closer, cherish them more and create memories with them each day. I let them know every night when I put them down to bed how much I love them and how much they mean to me. I'm trying to not think of death and not think of the pain that comes with death but this week it has burdened my heart so heavily not knowing what tomorrow brings. I would hate to lose any of my children and I'm Not sure how I will go on without them. I don't want them to lose me either. I want to be there with them as long as I can and watch and enjoy seeing them grow up. I grew up without a mom and it was hard and I don't want that for them but what is there to happen will happen. We can't prevent what the lord has planned for us neither will we understand it either. It just breaks my heart that I am not sealed to my kids and I am full of questions and fear about what happens when I depart or they depart from this earth, knowing that we are not sealed together for time and eternity. God forbid that happens but I still question what's next. I never felt the rush to be sealed but not knowing What tomorrow brings I now I feel the urgency to be sealed to my kids. I would like to find a good guy to marry my kids and I , yes my kids and I because we are a package but honestly I don't see that happening any time soon. I don't know when Mr good guy will find me but hopefully soon enough. My hearts breaks for her family and now I've become paranoid about watching my kids every move. Do know I can't prevent what h

This picture I absolutely love. I love it because I love the LOVE my kids have for each other. Although they might fight and can't stand each other at times like allbsiblubgs they care for each other. I love that kaison wakes up every mourning and his first thought is my sister is not sleeping next to me and is not in the room so I should go find her.... Wellbhe does not actually say that but point is he makes sure he finds her in the morning andbwakes hee up too. I can't even imagine one of them not being around, because the other sibling and i , our hearts will be shattered.. Life is too short today you're here and tomorrow you're not. I want to take every opportunity to get to know both my kids as they grow and watch their different personalities shine through. Right now Serena is a little princess . She lives every thing that has to do with a princess. Andbtoday she told me she is going to eat healthy no more mc donalds like the lady in church told her in her class. Kaison you know typical boy. Loves balls and live throwing stuff at people...drive a me crazy. But I don't want any opportunity to miss out on anything in my kids life bbecause life is yo precious and to short.

Kaison

I had to put this blog together to show you the different faces you can switch too in just an hour. Oh son how much I love and adore you. The cutest face is when you are angry I can't help but laugh because its just so funny watching your cute little angry face.. I love you son.

Random pictures

I lost my other phone with all my pictures so ice decided to out a bunch of pictures randomly on here. I can't say how many times I have lost my phone and none of my pictures or anything got ported over, crushed my heart. And the sad part is ill never recover those pictures so I'm posting a bunch or random ones on here.

Serena 's idea of fun

Sunday night I was putting the laundry away and Serena decided that it was a good idea to get her brother dressed up as a princess. She had tried on several dresses I bought her for church and thought why not dress my brother up like a princess. At first kaison was enjoying it... He had no clue really what was going on, other than he got to play with his sister and he was having fun. She got on her red and white flower dress on kaison and called him her princess and enjoyed the laughter he shared with her.  Then he decided he had enough and wanted the dress off his body so started pulling it off. Lets just say she was not happy so got upset at him for wanting it off. The whole thing was funny to watch especially the ending . might I say my little prince kaison would have been a beautiful princess but I rather him be the handsome Prince he is. It was as fun night full of laughter.

he was having fun at first.

this crazy guy

her final pick for which dress she was going to wear for church and also which shoes.

My kids happiness

I have failed to blog for several months now. But today I am making sure that I do a blog post at least three times a week. These memories are so important and I want to hold onto them forever and share them with my children some day.

Their smile.....
I may not have a whole lot or be able to provide for my kids a whole lot but that means nothing to them . They are just so happy all the time. That alone tells me that I am doing a good job as a mom, no matter our trials or struggles I get to see them smile daily and hear their laughter constantly. I watch them enjoy each others company and laugh about the silliest things . I watch them turn our empty apartment into their own little imaginary land. I'm not going to lie sometimes it drives me crazy. It drives me crazy because I am a clean freak and I hate messes. I find myself constantly cleaning up after my children. Every day all day long. Anytime we are home i am cleaning. Now it is true that children make messes but knowing me, trying to notclean is a problem. Because then I pop their little fun bubble to clean. But I just wanted to write a quick blog to say how much i enjoy seeing my kids happy no matter what our trial may be. I do the best I can for them daily and that's all I want them remember. Now I know that as they get older and start to understand things more their smiles will change to frowns but also with time I hope to get back in school and make a better life for us. But for right now I will enjoy watching my children smile and enjoy seeing them happy. Im happy that they are happy kids.